A Prayer for the Victims of Isis

My heart has broken in sheer pain and empathy for my brothers and sisters and their

I cannot even type the word "children" without my eyes welling with tears and stomach tightening. The terror and brutality of Isis right now, this moment, against Christians is overwhelming.  The beheading of children. Unmitigated evil, unconscionable violence.  Crimes against humanity.  Crimes against God.  My heart doesn't know how to hold these stories.

I know I will wake my own beautiful blonde headed children up in a few moments from a sleep that was guarded and safe and sweet.  They'll have matted hair and sleepy eyes and nothing but hope for the day to come.

I know we will go to church and worship God in truth and love and freedom this morning. And I will raise my hands and say God is good and mean it with my whole heart even though I have invisibly dried tears staining my face.

I know I will stop crying in a moment, and later today I will giggle or laugh and this heavy, sacred empathy will be far from me.  I may even go to Costco.  That makes me feel guilty.

I know that even with all the theological explanation, I don't fully understand how God could see his children and his children's children in this kind of pain and not rain down fire and vengeance from heaven.  That makes me question him as a good father and that question makes me feel guilty.

I know God is a good father, not just to his children who are being persecuted but also to me.  That truth is too large and weighty for my small hands to grasp well.  The inability to hold weight that I know God is holding makes me feel loved and free and safe and want to pray.

If, like me, you don't know how to hold the pain of our brothers and sisters who are being brutalized and persecuted and killed, I'm inviting you to pray these words and promises of God with me.

Stop "reading" for a moment.  Reorient your heart.  Welcome God to this space, the pain, the confusion, the questions.  Open your heart to him. Allow a moment of silence.

Psalm 34:15-18

15 The eyes of the Lord are toward the righteous
and his ears toward their cry.

God I believe that you see and hear your children around the world.  All of us.  You are unprotected from the horrific images and cries of pain. You delight in the beauty of uninhibited worship and expressions of love and freedom.  You hold them all.

16 The face of the Lord is against those who do evil,
to cut off the memory of them from the earth.

I trust you to be judge.  I am so thankful that you are a righteous judge who hates evil.  So many fear your judgement, but crimes like these remind us of our desperate need for a judge to bring justice to our world where politicians and brilliant minds and big hearts have all failed.  This is beyond us.  Please, God, in your righteousness, cut off this evil and even the bitter root of memory of this evil completely from our earth.  Quickly, please.

17 When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears
and delivers them out of all their troubles.

18 The Lord is near to the brokenhearted
and saves the crushed in spirit.

God you are mighty to save.  I trust that your spirit is close to my brothers and sisters in a way that I don't understand.  Their boldness and resolution in the face of great danger and terror speak not only to their faith but also to your presence.  I trust you to love them and hold them and strengthen them, and in some cases hold their spirits tightly as they enter into eternity.  I trust you to be good in ways I don't understand.  I trust that you are close and that you see the pain, that you can deliver and save and redeem.  Please God, even if I cannot feel the love you have for them, fill them, cover them, flood them with your love.

Amen.



*Luke 21:10-19 Can also be prayed back to God as a prayer in a similar way.

Why Perfection is Poison

There is a great deal of danger in becoming a perfect mom.

Did you just choke on your coffee?  Ya I know, being too perfect is not high on my list of concerns either- but here's why it shouldn't even be on our list of goals.  Imperfection is a gift, it's where we meet grace AND each other.

For all you moms who aspire to the perfect body, home, parenting style or whatever, relax. You are closer to happiness than you think.  For the elite who have reached mommy nirvana- open your eyes.  You may be missing your perfect life by being a perfect mom. 

Perfection poisons Empathy

When something works for you, you may be tempted to assume that you are somehow skilled, gifted, smarter, or just plain better than other mom's who can't quite get it together.  If only they could do it your way.  

When nothing works for you, you learn the frustration, humility, and pain of motherhood.  If you look around and feel like you are having a harder time than most, keep looking.  I guarantee there are other mamas having a hard time too.  As a broken woman you have unique eyes to see hurt, loneliness, and shame. If you can step out of your own shadows, you will realize you have developed a unique voice to relate to a sisterhood who desperately needs to hear they are seen, understood, and loved.  

Perfect mamas, please remember that all of our situations, support systems and kids are different.  At the end of the day, we don't need advice the same way we need love.  Perfection doesn't have to succumb to pride.  Look around and see community instead of competition or incompetence.  True perfection is always marked by love, just ask God himself.

Perfection poisons Desire

There is something beautiful about need, desperation, and longing.  It's where we meet God.  It's where our hearts are softened and transformed by grace.  Jesus taught that those who feel deep need are blessed.  David proclaimed that God is near to the brokenhearted.  To feel true satisfaction we must sink into God and be surrounded by his grace.  

Counterfeit joy and peace are easy to come by in a "perfect life" when what you do, what you have, and what people think about you create a false sense of self that feels worth clinging on to.  Just.  let.  go.  Perfect mamas have to work hard to dive to the depths of grace.  Perfect or imperfect, we should all examine what we are using to define our identity and how we are satisfying our need for purpose and love.

Perfection poisons Friendship

Perfect moms make disingenuous friends. You may not realize, this, perfect mom, but that mama who came over for a play date this morning thought extra hard about what she and each of her kids were going to wear.  She chose the snack she was going to bring and the container she'd put it in carefully.  She didn't tell you what was truly on her heart or even her mind- she learned her lesson last time when you made her feel patronized and ashamed by your well meaning advice or story of how you have it all figured out.

Friendship is hospitality of the soul.  Being able to think aloud with another person.  Being able to truly be and become your true and best self.

Perfect mama, you may be accidentally achieving a sense of perfection that is closer to a J.Crew catalog than your own god given design.  You may unknowingly be distancing connection as you minimize or silence the messiness of humanity, failure, and motherhood.  Imperfect mama, you are not off the hook.  Ceaselessly striving for perfection in a way that your failures produce bitterness instead of humility is just as dangerous.

No matter where you fall on the perfection spectrum, we all have to choose to meet each other as each other, our true selves, and love one another in that grounded, messy reality.  It's the only way we can do life together, and motherhood is meant to be done together.

You have been warned.  The "perfect" home, body, parenting skills, or hobbies are more likely to poison your soul than satisfy you.  Accept humility.  Strive for love.

How to Pray for the McCarthy Family

Jean McCarthy was admitted to the hospital on Saturday, July 26^th.  She has advanced stage liver cancer that has spread throughout her body.  It is very uncertain how long she has left.  Her husband Jim and daughters Elizabeth, Faith, and Grace are all caring for her at home now in her final days. 

Jean’s clear blue eyes radiate a peace that cannot be understood, and she is calm and happy as she prepares to see God.

Please pray for Jean, Jim, Elizabeth, Faith and Grace.  If words seem hard to come by in times like these, consider claiming these promises of scripture for their family.

God we thank you for Jean’s beautiful heart.  We pray that your presence would be close to her as she finishes her life the same way she lived it, with grace and peace.

2 Timothy 4:7 I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.

• Jean is eager to see, love and encourage as many people as she can. She longs for her friends and extended family to understand the peace that she has and to experience the love of God themselves.
• Pray that Jean would live to see someone she loves decide to explore faith. 
• Pray that Jim, Elizabeth, Faith and Grace would be able to support their mom’s wishes to serve others while maintaining balance with her needs, her energy level, and their own family time.

Father, the family is torn between being present with Jean and taking care of chores, taking care of themselves, or getting rest.  Provide them with peaceful Sabbaths. Give them sweet, sustaining sleep that is rejuvenating.  Guard their dreams and speak peace over them as they sleep. 

Psalm 4:8 In peace I will both lie down and sleep; for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety.

Proverbs 3:24 If you lie down, you will not be afraid; when you lie down, your sleep will be sweet.

Psalm 116:7 Return, O my soul, to your rest; for the Lord has dealt bountifully with you.

Lord, we lift up Jean, Jim, Elizabeth, Faith and Grace.  We pray for strength and comfort during this time of heavy burden. 

Isaiah 40:31 But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."

Psalms 46:1-2  God is our refuge and our strength, and ever-present help in trouble.  Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way….

Psalms 34:18 The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

Matthew 11:28-30  Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.

2 Corinthians 12:9-10 9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is

made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly

about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 10 That is

why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in

hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then

I am strong.

Father God, We pray for your power to touch the McCarthy’s today and in the days ahead.  When they feels struck down, they are not destroyed.  Carry them during this difficult time.  Help them to not lose heart; to be renewed by your love and remember eternal glories and promises.

2 Cor 4:7-9  But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us.8 We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; 9 persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.

Isaiah 43:1-2
…“Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
I have called you by name, you are mine.
2 When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you;
when you walk through fire you shall not be burned,
and the flame shall not consume you.

Heavenly Father, we pray for peace for Jean’s family.  And we pray for physical peace for her.  Lift any pain or struggle from her, Lord. We pray for Jim, Elizabeth, Faith and Grace to feel your presence now, and to be able to find stillness and strength to be the nurturing caretakers Jean needs.  Give them strength to meet her needs, Lord, and to make these precious moments an anointed time together.

Isaiah 32:17 The fruit of righteousness will be peace; the effect of righteousness will be quietness and confidence forever.

Psalms 29:11 The Lord gives strength to his people; the Lord blesses his people with peace.

Psalm 112: 7-8   He will have no fear of bad news;

  his heart is steadfast, trusting in the LORD.

8 His heart is secure, he will have no fear;

Exodus 14:14 The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.

Lord, we are thankful for all of the visitors and friends who have written or encouraged Jean.  Give her loved ones pleasant words full of love to speak over her. 

Proverbs 16:24 Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.

Thank you, God for who you are and that you are good.  This goodbye has come very suddenly for us and feels too soon.  We know that from the time you created her gentle spirit, you have seen and planned exactly when you would bring your beautiful daughter Jean back home.

Psalm 139:16
Your eyes saw my unformed substance;
in your book were written, every one of them,
the days that were formed for me,
when as yet there was none of them.

Thank you, Lord, for the amazing love this family has shared with each other over the years.  Thank you for the sweet goodbyes they have been able to say.  May their last days together not only be covered in peace, but also sprinkled with hope and joy.

Thank you for praying, and encouraging, and loving. Your outpouring of support is dearly felt and deeply appreciated by Jim and the girls.  If would like to pray any other scripture or words of love over their family please email them or feel free to leave brief notes in the comments section below.

If you want more ideas on how to best love the McCarthy's (particularly Jim and the girls), Christianity Today has some excellent advice about secondhand grief.




*Many thanks to my friend Tasha who structured the majority of these verses for another hurting family during their time of grief.

90 Days to Awaken Joy

We belonged to each other but lived in a friendly, stale silence. Our paths had parted at some unknown crossroads and I found myself physically present but emotionally distant. Our conversations focused on logistics with a polite formality to them. I began lowering my expectations dangerously, assuming that what we had could simply be as good as it gets. No one but us may have ever noticed the fire was gone.

I could have gone on like this for quite some time, keeping up appearances in my stale relationship with God, but it just was not enough anymore. I needed the power and passion back.

Real life was happening.

I'm guest blogging over at my friend Bronwyn's corner. Head on over to her page to read the rest. While you're there, explore a bit! Bronwyn is a beautiful, down to earth writer and her blog is a favorite in my inbox. I think you'll love her :)

How to Read the Bible in 90 Days

Between New Years and Easter a couple of friends and I went on an AMAZING life changing, spirit altering journey. We read the Bible in 90 Days with some guidance from our friends at B90 and now I can't shut up about it.

Ready?

You can hear why it's worth doing over at my friend Bronwyn's blog where I risk getting a little too raw for the sake of compelling others to give God the chance to transform them through His voice. (link coming soon) My friend Lisa also shared her experiences powerfully here.

Set?

When you read the Bible in 90 Days you will get to know God as He is, as he shows himself. You will make connections, see themes and repetitions that you never imagined because everything is fresh in your mind. You are seeing the airplane window, big picture view. Your daily reading will become less about forcing application and more about recognizing and listening to God. Get set for the spiritual journey of your life.

Go!

Here's some practical tips to help you succeed.

• Join (or start!) a group.
   Small is best. There were 3 of us and it was a great size to hold one another accountable but small enough that there was not a lot of additional administration or overhead to keep the group on the same page. 
• Consider taking 103 Days.
  We found it best to do our 90 Days of reading over a 103 day period. We had 6 days of reading each week and on the 7th we came together as a group, shared what we were learning, and prayed. That way our time commitment held steady at 60 minutes per day and we also allowed ourselves some time to process what we were reading. 
• Grab a reading plan.
   The official plan we used is here. I made my own so that I could add in our meeting days and line it up to specific dates (see below). Feel free to copy/paste it into excel and customize it for yourself! 
• Get a new Bible.
  This is the Bible that Zondervan recommends and is broken up into the sections for the daily plan. Us girls all used and loved our journaling Bibles instead. It was really nice to quickly take notes, write observations, or scribble a "WOW!" or "???" as we went along. 
• Plan your schedule.
  It works best to pick an hour a day that is non-negotiably committed to the journey. Even though I am not a morning person, the only hour I knew I would have was early in the morning before my kids woke up. I would highly suggest morning time. It has become my favorite way to start my day- 100 days will form a habit! 
• Read the whole Bible.
  There is an amazing sense of connection and fluidity to the story of the Bible even when read simply cover to cover. There is a lot of reading and real life is going to happen and you will almost certainly fall behind on a day or two. Here's what to do and not do do when that happens. 

You CAN do it. I was an exhausted mother of a one year old and a two year old the first time I read B90. That hour of reading in the morning that I didn't think I had became the time that energized and fueled the rest of my day. I was shocked and amazed to discover I actually enjoyed reading the Old Testament. God's voice will surprise you!

I can't wait to hear how God's Word speaks to your soul. Will you email me and tell me? Pretty please?!

Joy to your journey, my friend! May Grace and Peace overwhelm you.

***

Day	Date	Reading			Day	Date	Reading
1	3-Jan	MeetUp			58	1-Mar	Isa 1:1	Isa 13:22
2	4-Jan	Gen 1:1	Gen 16:16		59	2-Mar	Isa 14:1	Isa 28:29
3	5-Jan	Gen 17:1	Gen 28:19		60	3-Mar	Isa 29:1	Isa 41:18
4	6-Jan	Gen 28:20	Gen 40:11		61	4-Mar	Isa 41:19	Isa 52:12
5	7-Jan	Gen 40:12	Gen 50:26		62	5-Mar	Isa 52:13	Isa 66:18
6	8-Jan	Ex 1:1	Ex 15:18		63	6-Mar	Isa 66:19	Jer 10:13
7	9-Jan	Ex 15:19	Ex 28:43		64	7-Mar	MeetUp
8	10-Jan	MeetUp			65	8-Mar	Jer 10:14	Jer 23:8
9	11-Jan	Ex 29:1	Ex 40:38		66	9-Mar	Jer 23:9	Jer 33:22
10	12-Jan	Le 1:1	Le 14:32		67	10-Mar	Jer 33:23	Jer 47:7
11	13-Jan	Le 14:33	Le 26:26		68	11-Mar	Jer 48:1	La 1:22
12	14-Jan	Le 26:27	Nu 8:14		69	12-Mar	La 2:1	Eze 12:20
13	15-Jan	Nu 8:15	Nu 21:7		70	13-Mar	Eze 12:21	Ez 23:39
14	16-Jan	Nu 21:8	Nu 32:19		71	14-Mar	MeetUp
15	17-Jan	MeetUp			72	15-Mar	Eze 23:40	Eze 35:15
16	18-Jan	Nu 32:20	Dt 7:26		73	16-Mar	Eze 36:1	Eze 47:12
17	19-Jan	Dt 8:1	Dt 23:11		74	17-Mar	Eze 47:13	Da 8:27
18	20-Jan	Dt 23:12	Dt 34:12		75	18-Mar	Da 9:1	Hos 13:6
19	21-Jan	Jos 1:1	Jos 14:15		76	19-Mar	Hos 13:7	Am 9:10
20	22-Jan	Jos 15:1	Jdg 3:27		77	20-Mar	Am 9:11	Nah 3:19
21	23-Jan	Jdg 3:28	Jdg 15:12		78	21-Mar	MeetUp
22	24-Jan	MeetUp			79	22-Mar	Hab 1:1	Zec 10:12
23	25-Jan	Jdg 15:13	1Sa 2:29		80	23-Mar	Zec 11:1	Mt 4:25
24	26-Jan	1Sa 2:30	1Sa 15:35		81	24-Mar	Mt 5:1	Mt 15:39
25	27-Jan	1Sa 16:1	1Sa 28:19		82	25-Mar	Mt 16:1	Mt 26:56
26	28-Jan	1Sa 28:20	2Sa 12:10		83	26-Mar	Mt 26:57	Mk 9:13
27	29-Jan	2Sa 12:11	2Sa 22:18		84	27-Mar	Mk 9:14	Lk 1:80
28	30-Jan	2Sa 22:19	1Ki 7:37		85	28-Mar	MeetUp
29	31-Jan	MeetUp			86	29-Mar	Lk 2:1	Lk 9:62
30	1-Feb	1Ki 7:38	1Ki 16:20		87	30-Mar	Lk 10:1	Lk 20:19
31	2-Feb	1Ki 16:21	2Ki 4:37		88	31-Mar	Lk 20:20	Jn 5:47
32	3-Feb	2Ki 4:38	2Ki 15:26		89	1-Apr	Jn 6:1	Jn 15:17
33	4-Feb	2Ki 15:27	2Ki 25:30		90	2-Apr	Jn 15:18	Ac 6:7
34	5-Feb	1Ch 1:1	1Ch 9:44		91	3-Apr	Ac 6:8	Ac 16:37
35	6-Feb	1Ch 10:1	1Ch 23:32		92	4-Apr	MeetUp
36	7-Feb	MeetUp			93	5-Apr	Ac 16:38	Ac 28:16
37	8-Feb	1Ch 24:1	2Ch 7:10		94	6-Apr	Ac 28:17	Ro 14:23
38	9-Feb	2Ch 7:11	2Ch 23:15		95	7-Apr	Ro 15:1	1Co 14:40
39	10-Feb	2Ch 23:16	2Ch 35:15		96	8-Apr	1Co 15:1	Gal 3:25
40	11-Feb	2Ch 35:16	Ez 10:44		97	9-Apr	Gal 3:26	Col 4:18
41	12-Feb	Ne 1:1	Ne 13:14		98	10-Apr	1Th 1:1	Phm 25
42	13-Feb	Ne 13:15	Job 7:21		99	11-Apr	MeetUp
43	14-Feb	MeetUp			100	12-Apr	Heb 1:1	Jam 3:12
44	15-Feb	Job 8:1	Job 24:25		101	13-Apr	Jam 3:13	3Jn 14
45	16-Feb	Job 25:1	Job 41:34		102	14-Apr	Jude 1	Rev 17:18
46	17-Feb	Job 42:1	Ps 24:10		103	15-Apr	Rev 18:1	Rev 22:21
47	18-Feb	Ps 25:1	Ps 45:14		104	16-Apr
48	19-Feb	Ps 45:15	Ps 69:21		105	17-Apr
49	20-Feb	Ps 69:22	Ps 89:13		106	18-Apr	MeetUp
50	21-Feb	MeetUp			107	19-Apr
51	22-Feb	Ps 89:14	Ps 108:13		108	20-Apr	Easter Sunday
52	23-Feb	Ps 109:1	Ps 134:3
53	24-Feb	Ps 135:1	Pr 6:35
54	25-Feb	Pr 7:1	Pr 20:21
55	26-Feb	Pr 20:22	Ecc 2:26
56	27-Feb	Ecc 3:1	SoS 8:14
57	28-Feb	MeetUp

Super Fun Pretend-to-be-an-Artist Project

A friend of mine has gorgeous art on every wall of her home, painted by herself or family or friends.  One of the pieces caught my eye and she was kind enough to show me how to make it on my own.  I was SHOCKED at how easy it was!  I've gotten commissioned twice since then and it's been a lot of fun to have a creative outlet and be able to make meaningful gifts for friends.  In the spirit of generosity with which I was taught, I wanted to share the process for anyone else who may want to try.

Here are a few ideas of what a finished product looks like:

Here's what you'll need:

• A canvas (deep edges look best)
• Paper for the background (pages from a Bible, book, or handwritten messages all work.  It's nice when this ties into the message/meaning)
• Spray adhesive
• Modge Podge (I prefer matte finish)
• Acrylic paint*
• Adhesive letters (Vinyl poster letters or you can cut your own from contact paper)
• 1-3 inch foam brushes (width depending on canvas size and detail level of streak colors)
• For a 12x12 canvas, you will probably spend roughly $35 and 4 hours on the piece.

*A note on Acrylic paints- I've tried most of the brands that are available at Michael's.  In general I'd say that Martha Stewart paint is the best quality, but colors can be limited.  Folk Art and Americana work just fine.  There is a lot of acrylic paint that is much more expensive, but that's really overkill for this project.

Step 1: Prep

Rip your paper into strips.  The torn edges give a lot of texture, so be sure you have lots of smaller pieces with no straight edges.

Spray your canvas with spray adhesive.  This is best done outside or a very well ventilated area.  Be sure that the side edges of the canvas are also sprayed.  Keep the spray moving quickly to have a even covering with minimal bubbles.

Step 2: Base Layer

Arrange the paper strips on the canvas.  Keep in mind the paper that you place in the bottom left hand corner will be the words that show through your letters.  The papers will all overlap each other (there should be no canvas showing through).  Arrange some papers originating from the top and others the bottom.  Wrap the paper around the canvas so that it is all flat on the sides.  You can be as Type A or not about the paper lining up on the sides as you would like to be.  I'm not too worried about it as long as it stays flat.

Use a foam brush and cover the paper layer with a layer of modge podge.  Allow to dry completely.

Step 3: Lettering

Lay out your letters and apply them to the dry base layer starting with the last letter of the last word and working your way back and up.  Push the letters very firmly against the layer, consider rubbing them in firmly with a popsicle stick or finger nail.  You don't want paint to get underneath them.

Step 4: Painting

Paint your base layer with smooth, even strokes that go from the top to the bottom of the canvas. The darker your base layer the more the words you have chosen will pop out.  If you actually want to have the paint be more translucent and see the pages behind the paint more clearly, simply wet your brush and dilute the paint with water.  Cover the entire painting with your base color.

Once that has dried completely, gently brush over some streaks of an accent color.  Try to let the foam brush graze the top of the texture from the pages.  Have a dry foam brush on hand for working in streaks.

Step 5: Finishing touches

Remove the letters carefully.  If any paint has seeped beneath them, simply us a wet qtip to rub it away.  Paint a final coat of modge podge over the entire thing.  Let it dry completely and you're done!

3 Secrets you Must Know to Survive PottyTraining

So you're ready to start potty training.  Or start again.  Or start doing it differently.

You may think you need a potty chair, underwear and a few great books.  What you actually want to stock up on in disinfectant, paper towels, and latex gloves.  The gloves make a difference.  Go ahead.  Splurge.

And here is the truth.  #IHatePottyTraining

In your mind you may already be formulating advice for me.  Stop. If you had a pleasant experience with potty training you may go ahead and click-on, my friend.  No worries.  The rest of this will simply bore you.

If potty training makes you want to shut the door on your laundry room and SCREAM every once in a while, please pull up a chair.  Grab your cold coffee that you left on the corner of the counter ages ago.  Relax a moment.  You are not alone.

Today I threw away my daughter's poop covered pants in a public restroom.  Yesterday I scrubbed her poop out of the tread of her shoes with a toothbrush. The day before that she got her poop in the baby potty.  Yay!  But before I opened the door she decided to dump it in the big potty "all by herself".  So poop was in the baby potty.  And on the floor.  And all over the big potty.  And a little mystery streak running down the side of the bathtub.

I know what you are thinking.  Maybe I should, you know, potty train my kid before writing about potty training.

I don't always love listening to moms who have potty training all figured out tell me how easy it is (la-tee-dah).  So here is a voice of encouragement, instead.  Spoken kindly, humbly, from a fellow poop scrubbing mama who knows the frustration of this season WELL. Here's what is keeping me sane.

Secret 1: Acceptance.  Failure is not ONLY an option, it's an inevitability.

A big problem with the potty training milestone is that we somehow allow our child pooping on a toilet to become a personal reflection on us and our parenting abilities.  No wonder we are frustrated beyond belief when we are cleaning up accidents.  It's not just a puddle of pee on the floor, it becomes a symbol of their failure.  Their failure becomes our failure. This is not a competition, my friends.

Accidents are going to happen.  They are part of the learning process, not a failure of theirs or yours. There's no room for blame, self doubt or anger in a healthy learning environment.  Just take a breath.  Count to 10.  Grab a paper towel and clean it up.

Proverbs 14:4 Without oxen a stable stays clean, but you need a strong ox for a large harvest.

It's going to be messy, but it's going to be worth it.

Secret 2: Identity.  You are more than a sanitation engineer.

On my hands and knees cleaning up accidents, it's easy to wonder why I even bothered with a college degree.  It's easy to feel that my destiny was cheated.  I know I was created and gifted for more than cleaning poop.

One day I was holding my daughter's foot over the sink and washing off a spot of poop from her ankle.  I was trying desperately to monitor my own attitude and facial expression.  I knew if I was not careful my observant little girl would know in a heartbeat that I was discouraged, annoyed, and angry.  Something about that little foot with tiny toes in my hand brought to mind the image of Jesus washing his disciples' feet.

Mark 10:42-45 ...“You know that the rulers in this world...flaunt their authority over those under them. But among you it will be different. Whoever wants to be a leader among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first among you must be the slave of everyone else. For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many.”

When I say I am a Jesus follower, I say that I am living his values and priorities and love.  There is great beauty in his eyes when he sees a loving mother tenderly washing poop off of her babies feet- unseen by any other, in an obscure suburban bathroom.  He sees the beauty in a mama walking alongside his sweet baby that he created and gave to her.  He treasures our heart as he sees us encouraging that child through the painful process of learning something new, patiently and humbly not thinking too highly of ourselves to love and serve another.

So sweet mama, we were not created and gifted for more than potty training and poop washing.  Potty training points us exactly toward who we were created to be and how we are to exercise our gifts.  If we allow ourselves to choose kindness, humility and compassion in the way we deal with these frustrations.  If we don't lose sight of our children as we are tempted to focus on the pee running down their leg (and our shopping cart).  If we embrace the lysol as an opportunity to be seen by God alone, cheerfully exemplifying his values instead of clinging bitterly to our pride.  THEN we are not sanitation engineers in our home. We are, in fact, engineering a small glimpse of God's kingdom.

Secret 3: Reality.  This too shall pass.

I gave a mama a hug the other day.  She had slept for 3 hours the night before.  I gave her a hug out of empathy and love. Secretly the hug was also a little tiny bit out of thankfulness that I get to sleep through the night.  Do you remember how BIG it felt to be woken up every 2 hours?  Oh my.  I was pretty sure that I was slowly slipping into a shadow of my former self. My first child didn't sleep well.  I thought I was going to die.  I didn't.

At some point this is going to be over.  Your kid is going to go potty on the toilet.  We are going to survive!  Let's keep that in mind.  Let's choose to run this season as a brutal hill in the race of life, but decided firmly not to get thrown off track into bitterness or insecurity when it get's ugly.

1 Corinthians 9:24 Don't you realize that in a race everyone runs, but only one person gets the prize? So run to win!

If we're asking them to put on their big girl panties, we better be prepared to do that same.  We're in this together.  We are seen.  When we quiet ourselves before our peaceful God in the morning we can carry that calm into even our most frustrating day.

Carry on beautiful mama!