My daughter and I chose a purple daisy to plant in the backyard this afternoon. I realized for the first time today how incredibly wondrous it can be to dig a hole. As it came time to plant our little flower I broke apart the fragile roots that tightly held together their soil in the shape of it’s former container.
Life suddenly made more sense.
I’ve been struggling with change lately, even change that isn’t certain. As I’m praying with friends who are thinking about moving away or moving on I can’t help but dread the amount of effort it takes to make new friends. I can’t escape the fear that I won’t find a friend like them ever again. I know from experience that change creates opportunity and I know in my head that God has many unseen wonders for my heart to explore that I’ll never experience if I stay in the same place forever. Still, it hurts.
It’s supposed to hurt.
I thought about that poor little daisy as I ripped the knotted end of its roots off. It had dedicated so much of it’s energy to growing those roots. Those roots knew right where the boundaries were, the nutrition came from, and held everything together tightly. Do not let this analogy fool you, I have a total black thumb. Even with the irrigation system it will be a miracle if this poor daisy survives. Still, even I know that you have to replant flowers for them to grow larger than their current pot.
Only the relentless heart really lives.
This Daisy is going to regrow it’s roots. It isn’t even a choice, it’s a law of nature. My heart feel less relentless, sometimes. I question if I have the energy, I resent the brokenness that comes with change. I wish I could not grow roots that would be broken, but they all get broken. The only unbroken roots are the ones who never expand their borders or reach deeper to soak up all that they can from their world.
My roots, God's garden.
I’ve heard people say to hold things with an open hand as a visual of surrender, leaving everything in our lives open to be taken or changed by God. I’m not sure that’s the right picture. I think God wants us to make roots. He’s given us an environment and community to soak up and fully wrap ourselves around, not separating our heart or hedging our emotions. When it comes to life’s inevitable changes, I’m ready for my roots to be broken. I expect it to hurt, but I know that there’s exciting changes ahead- not just for my friends with big announcements but for my ever expanding heart.