3 Secrets you Must Know to Survive PottyTraining

So you're ready to start potty training.  Or start again.  Or start doing it differently.

You may think you need a potty chair, underwear and a few great books.  What you actually want to stock up on in disinfectant, paper towels, and latex gloves.  The gloves make a difference.  Go ahead.  Splurge.

And here is the truth.  #IHatePottyTraining

In your mind you may already be formulating advice for me.  Stop. If you had a pleasant experience with potty training you may go ahead and click-on, my friend.  No worries.  The rest of this will simply bore you.

If potty training makes you want to shut the door on your laundry room and SCREAM every once in a while, please pull up a chair.  Grab your cold coffee that you left on the corner of the counter ages ago.  Relax a moment.  You are not alone.

Today I threw away my daughter's poop covered pants in a public restroom.  Yesterday I scrubbed her poop out of the tread of her shoes with a toothbrush. The day before that she got her poop in the baby potty.  Yay!  But before I opened the door she decided to dump it in the big potty "all by herself".  So poop was in the baby potty.  And on the floor.  And all over the big potty.  And a little mystery streak running down the side of the bathtub.

I know what you are thinking.  Maybe I should, you know, potty train my kid before writing about potty training.

I don't always love listening to moms who have potty training all figured out tell me how easy it is (la-tee-dah).  So here is a voice of encouragement, instead.  Spoken kindly, humbly, from a fellow poop scrubbing mama who knows the frustration of this season WELL. Here's what is keeping me sane.

Secret 1: Acceptance.  Failure is not ONLY an option, it's an inevitability.

A big problem with the potty training milestone is that we somehow allow our child pooping on a toilet to become a personal reflection on us and our parenting abilities.  No wonder we are frustrated beyond belief when we are cleaning up accidents.  It's not just a puddle of pee on the floor, it becomes a symbol of their failure.  Their failure becomes our failure. This is not a competition, my friends.

Accidents are going to happen.  They are part of the learning process, not a failure of theirs or yours. There's no room for blame, self doubt or anger in a healthy learning environment.  Just take a breath.  Count to 10.  Grab a paper towel and clean it up.

Proverbs 14:4 Without oxen a stable stays clean, but you need a strong ox for a large harvest.

It's going to be messy, but it's going to be worth it.

Secret 2: Identity.  You are more than a sanitation engineer.

On my hands and knees cleaning up accidents, it's easy to wonder why I even bothered with a college degree.  It's easy to feel that my destiny was cheated.  I know I was created and gifted for more than cleaning poop.

One day I was holding my daughter's foot over the sink and washing off a spot of poop from her ankle.  I was trying desperately to monitor my own attitude and facial expression.  I knew if I was not careful my observant little girl would know in a heartbeat that I was discouraged, annoyed, and angry.  Something about that little foot with tiny toes in my hand brought to mind the image of Jesus washing his disciples' feet.

Mark 10:42-45 ...“You know that the rulers in this world...flaunt their authority over those under them. But among you it will be different. Whoever wants to be a leader among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first among you must be the slave of everyone else. For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many.”

When I say I am a Jesus follower, I say that I am living his values and priorities and love.  There is great beauty in his eyes when he sees a loving mother tenderly washing poop off of her babies feet- unseen by any other, in an obscure suburban bathroom.  He sees the beauty in a mama walking alongside his sweet baby that he created and gave to her.  He treasures our heart as he sees us encouraging that child through the painful process of learning something new, patiently and humbly not thinking too highly of ourselves to love and serve another.

So sweet mama, we were not created and gifted for more than potty training and poop washing.  Potty training points us exactly toward who we were created to be and how we are to exercise our gifts.  If we allow ourselves to choose kindness, humility and compassion in the way we deal with these frustrations.  If we don't lose sight of our children as we are tempted to focus on the pee running down their leg (and our shopping cart).  If we embrace the lysol as an opportunity to be seen by God alone, cheerfully exemplifying his values instead of clinging bitterly to our pride.  THEN we are not sanitation engineers in our home. We are, in fact, engineering a small glimpse of God's kingdom.

Secret 3: Reality.  This too shall pass.

I gave a mama a hug the other day.  She had slept for 3 hours the night before.  I gave her a hug out of empathy and love. Secretly the hug was also a little tiny bit out of thankfulness that I get to sleep through the night.  Do you remember how BIG it felt to be woken up every 2 hours?  Oh my.  I was pretty sure that I was slowly slipping into a shadow of my former self. My first child didn't sleep well.  I thought I was going to die.  I didn't.

At some point this is going to be over.  Your kid is going to go potty on the toilet.  We are going to survive!  Let's keep that in mind.  Let's choose to run this season as a brutal hill in the race of life, but decided firmly not to get thrown off track into bitterness or insecurity when it get's ugly.

1 Corinthians 9:24 Don't you realize that in a race everyone runs, but only one person gets the prize? So run to win!

If we're asking them to put on their big girl panties, we better be prepared to do that same.  We're in this together.  We are seen.  When we quiet ourselves before our peaceful God in the morning we can carry that calm into even our most frustrating day.

Carry on beautiful mama!

The Mom I Wanted to Be

When I had my first baby in my belly, I had decided.  I wanted to be a mom who....

• Ran marathons
• Talked intelligently about world politics and literature
• Made my baby fit my schedule, not the other way around.

At all costs I vowed I would NEVER...

• Talk about nothing but potty training and teething
• Have the screaming tantrum kid at the store
• "Let myself go"

The truth is I am not quite 3 years into this motherhood thing but a couple things are for sure:  I have not yet run any marathons, and I will talk about how much I hate potty training to anyone who will listen.

Confession:  I had a sort of underlying condescension of "moms" in my heart before I had my own kiddos.  I was sure anyone who was tired or in sweatpants just wasn't trying hard enough.  They were the weak ones, who had let themselves go. 

I've let my self go, and I don't regret it.

My babies needed to eat and sleep and play and be cared for.  With this all consuming (albeit simple) list, motherhood forced me to think about myself last.  To let my "self" go.  I've had to navigate self-judgement, loneliness, feeling underutilized and unattractive- things I never expected to be part of bringing my babies home. It was messy and painful and confusing, but something beautiful happened. 

In my hurt of being unheard, I learned to listen. 

In my pain of feeling unseen I learned to be aware.

In my desperate efforts at perfection that always came up short, I learned to let go of control.

In my void of being unrecognized, I learned to release the opinions of others.

It's taken me a couple years, but now I truly know the mom I want to be has nothing to do with running marathons or fitting into my old jeans.  I want to be a mom who...

• Uses my mama heart to love everyone I meet like God loves them- as his children
• Has space and grace to be approachable
• Feels comfortable in my own soft, stretched skin
• Speaks love, truth, acceptance and grace over every life around me 

What's on your list? What kind of mama do you want to be?

Making Roots and Breaking Roots

My daughter and I chose a purple daisy to plant in the backyard this afternoon.  I realized for the first time today how incredibly wondrous it can be to dig a hole.  As it came time to plant our little flower I broke apart the fragile roots that tightly held together their soil in the shape of it’s former container.

Life suddenly made more sense.

I’ve been struggling with change lately, even change that isn’t certain.  As I’m praying with friends who are thinking about moving away or moving on I can’t help but dread the amount of effort it takes to make new friends.  I can’t escape the fear that I won’t find a friend like them ever again.  I know from experience that change creates opportunity and I know in my head that God has many unseen wonders for my heart to explore that I’ll never experience if I stay in the same place forever.  Still, it hurts.

It’s supposed to hurt.

I thought about that poor little daisy as I ripped the knotted end of its roots off.  It had dedicated so much of it’s energy to growing those roots.  Those roots knew right where the boundaries were, the nutrition came from, and held everything together tightly.  Do not let this analogy fool you, I have a total black thumb.  Even with the irrigation system it will be a miracle if this poor daisy survives.  Still, even I know that you have to replant flowers for them to grow larger than their current pot.

Only the relentless heart really lives.

This Daisy is going to regrow it’s roots.  It isn’t even a choice, it’s a law of nature.  My heart feel less relentless, sometimes.  I question if I have the energy, I resent the brokenness that comes with change.  I wish I could not grow roots that would be broken, but they all get broken.  The only unbroken roots are the ones who never expand their borders or reach deeper to soak up all that they can from their world.

My roots, God's garden.

I’ve heard people say to hold things with an open hand as a visual of surrender, leaving everything in our lives open to be taken or changed by God.  I’m not sure that’s the right picture.  I think God wants us to make roots.  He’s given us an environment and community to soak up and fully wrap ourselves around, not separating our heart or hedging our emotions. When it comes to life’s inevitable changes, I’m ready for my roots to be broken.  I expect it to hurt, but I know that there’s exciting changes ahead- not just for my friends with big announcements but for my ever expanding heart.

He Smelled like Lavender

Jesus smelled like lavender. 

His last week on earth, Mary anointed Jesus (John 12:1-8).  She poured Nard over his entire body and washed his feet with her hair in adoration and abandonment.  Jesus’ followers looked at her in confusion, disgust, and derision.  Jesus looked at her in recognition and love, and bound their stories together for eternity- her act of sacrificial worship and his coming act of sacrificial love (Matthew 26:13). 

I learned this week that Nard is believed to smell like lavender.

Mary emptied the entire bottle over Jesus.  His prayer in the Garden of Gethsemane was only 4 days later, which means Jesus likely smelled like lavender his final days on earth and even as they led him away for crucifixion. 

His body had been anointed for burial almost a week before his death, and it was the smell of lavender that reminded him every day that the cross was coming.  A redolent aroma, picked up by passing breezes, whispering the love he had for mankind.  Bringing readily to mind an image of a woman’s dark hair tangled around his feet every time the fragrance brightened.

As he kneeled in prayer in Gethsemane, tears flowing, I imagine his posture of prayer with face pressed against his forearms, his wrists.  As the agony of anticipation seized his body, he may have smelled that soothing aroma of lavender.

As I worship this week, eyes toward Easter, I’ve been anointing my world with lavender.  Lavender hand lotion and oil, room spray, and candles surround me.  I purposefully breathe in the fragrance to bring to mind being by Jesus’ side his final week.

I need a reminder that my lavender anointed savior is near this week.

I need reassurance that death has been conquered.

Good Friday this year is the 7^th anniversary of losing my dad to cancer. 

From the time of his diagnosis in stage 4, he was anointed for burial.  I wish that he could have been purposeful and wise and reconciled all the hurt during his final days, or even simply said goodbye.  The tumor in his brain didn’t allow that.  Like Jesus, he too was barely recognizable before his final death.  The violence of radiation had raged against his skull. I felt powerless as I watched it happen. The circumstances of death and grief are wildly different in significance and severity between my own personal loss and the cross.  Just know that I can't sing words or say phrases about death in any sort of mindless way.  My heart breaks.

The cross is why I follow Jesus.  Jesus did more than pay the price on the cross to make it possible for me to be forgiven.  He walked through the darkest valleys of the human existence and came out the other side.  He knows how to navigate pain, grief, and separation and lead onward to a place of peace, hope and joy.  He's not a plastic savior, or a superhero.  His heart and his hands have scars.

“Death is swallowed up in victory.”
“O death, where is your victory? O death, where is your sting?” -1 Corinthians 15:54-55

Jesus is the resurrection and the life.  He is the promise of freedom for the soul after the death of a broken body. He turned the universe upside down.  His dramatic victory over death was in some ways quiet, mysterious, brutal.  Smelling like lavender.

Being Important

Eye contact is something I miss, as I seem to disappear behind my double stroller.  I wonder if one day I'll feel seen and heard again.  If someday I'll ever be important to someone who doesn't need me to feed them.  I wonder if I'll ever be successful or influential or seen as more than a "mom".  I wonder if it makes me a bad mom to wonder.

I've formulated several versions of the thesis that "I am important" through motherhood only to have them crumble beneath my feet the moment I try to stand my soul upon them:

This time is only a season, a short chapter of my life. If I wait patiently then one day I'll be important.

...only I've found that living for the future makes it almost impossible for me to enjoy the present.  When I look at my kids I don't want to find myself rushing them to get older, need me less, and get out of my way so I can go back to having ambitions beyond having every piece of my laundry clean at the same time. That's not my heart.

What I am doing is more important than it looks.

...only I am too honest for this.  I have read much better bloggers than me attempt to romanticize the life of moms.  I'm not saying that kissing boo-boos and washing dishes aren't at times mundane disguises that hide deep relationships, beauty, and connection. Most days serving my family is simply an act of love made all the deeper by the fact it is totally unexciting. I have lived too much life to actually find my importance in changing a diaper, no matter how much hidden meaning one may try to attach to it.  

What I am doing is important because one day my sacrifices will pay off in my children's beautiful and important lives.

...only I love my kids too much for this. Their future is not what I'm hanging my importance or success on, they are too fragile to bear that weight and I love them too much to come to them asking them for validation.  I'm their mommy.  I let them know they are important and loved and ask nothing in return.  

Then, one evening not too long ago I heard a whisper that changed my life.  Forever.

It's not about being important.

I'm important to many people who love me and to God himself, but I don't need to feel important by being admired, having a big platform to be heard, or chasing an increasing level of feeling successful or influential.

Once I let it sit with me it, my heart got happy.  Joy returned.  My soul felt whole. It's not about being important.  It's about living in freedom instead of searching for validation.  When I let go of needing to feel important I can serve my family out of love and not feel bitter or degraded.  I can hope for my children's future and not feel pressure to control it.  I can live right now in love and freedom and not wait anxiously in jealous greed for something that was never promised to me.  

Does giving up on being important mean I'm giving up on life?  

I'm not giving up on goals or dreams, but I am giving up on making goals and deadlines that cost me more than I want to give of myself.  I am giving up on loving myself and pursuing my own need to feel admired, respected, successful and important.  I'm choosing to love others more.

It's tempting for me to imagine that every gift and talent I have been given are meant to uniquely equip me for an exciting mission that I am personally passionate for and produces an incredibly important accomplishment for God.  The truth is that I have been gifted simply to encourage and invest in others (1 Corinthians 14, 1 Peter 4:10-11) and God looks at the heart, he doesn't play favorites- even with people who are influential or powerful for Him (Galatians 2:6).  We are encouraged not to judge anyone, including ourselves.  No more worrying about whether I have the Holy Spirit in a big enough way or am on a big enough platform or impactful enough mission.  All God asks me to do is have a good heart and let Him commend me in the end (1 Corinthians 4:1-5).

Jesus washed the disciples feet (John 13:1-17).  No one would argue Jesus is important, but he knew that holding on to his importance would keep him from showing love in the way he needed to.  He chose love and reconciliation over glory and importance and was undeterred from his mission no matter how often misunderstood (Philippians 2:6-8). Jesus rejected every opportunity for importance and glory that came his way. I say that I want to be like this infinitely wise creator of the world who chose to hang out with fisherman, and yet I get frustrated by the limitations of conversing with my own toddlers. 

Humility and love have their shields raised against the ravenous appetite of self-importance. Instead of writhing in the fear of never being successful, influential or important I can love and serve without any agenda other than making Jesus smile. I never took it seriously when Jesus said the last would be first- or had the faith to live my life like it was true until now.

A Beautiful Mess (The one where I lose my baby in a museum.)

BAWLING. My eyes out.

I made a bee line out the front door of the Children's Museum while completely unable to gain any sort of composure.

5 minutes earlier I had been standing in the center of the museum, the very center, the only place that virtually everyone can see you.  Next to me was an employee in a purple polo shirt with a plastic name tag talking into a walkie talkie.  "Lost child alert, lost child alert.  Check your zone for a blonde girl in a purple tshirt and jeans.  She is two and a half years old and answers to the name "Olivia".

10 minutes earlier than that I had been buckling my 17 month old into the double stroller and my eyes must have been focused on that buckle for a whole 30 seconds, which is sadly more than enough time for a 2.5 year old to disappear.

It is the most scared I have been in a really long time.  My hear raced, I was frazzled, emotional, and after I stopped the flow of 4 letter words that first flooded my brain, I was silently praying my heart out.

On the walk to the car after we finally all left the museum together, Olivia asked me "Why are you crying, mommy?"  I stopped the stroller, pulled her out and held her close.  I told her I was so scared because when she ran away to play I couldn't see her.  I told her it's like when she can't find her blankie and she is scared it is lost.  I told her she MUST stay where mommy can see her.  I told her I had to pray to Jesus to help me because I was scared.  I really tried to say this all clearly and calmly through my cracking, fragile voice.

My sweet girl, so little, who barely knows her ABCs.

She lifted up my sunglasses on the top of my head.  She said "Don't be scared mommy.  Take a biiiiig breath" as she gently cupped my chin.  "I love you, mommy.  Don't cry.  I want to make you happy".  She continued to comfort me in gentle little whispers, and her empathy and tenderness were as deep as the ocean.  Her tiny soul was so big and incredibly beautiful as she looked into my eyes intently.  I felt her strength of kindness for the first time in my vulnerability, and that moment was such a gift.  To feel her wipe away my tears with the same gentle strokes I have wiped hers away a hundred times.  To have a small glimpse into the woman she is going to become...and what a beautiful sight it was.  It was truly one of the most special moments we've shared.

As my heart rate slowed I became deeply thankful.

• My girl is safe.  God was watching her vigilantly even when my eyes could not see her.
• My willful girl is beautiful.  She is empathetic, strong, and emotionally connected (when she is not being a typical 2 year old).
• I felt no shame (even though you may think I should have).

Recently I have been learning to release the opinion of others. If you want to introduce some "You're a bad mom" voices into your head I think standing in the middle of a museum while the employees are buzzing "Lost child" all around you is a great way to start.

I am not exaggerating when I say I beat myself up for DAYS when I first became a mom and realized other moms had pillows for their babies on their diaper changing tables.  "I don't have a pillow on my changing table, I am such a bad mom!" I thought.  Now, after losing my child in a crowded, public place, and having plenty of people stare at me, I was able to push that "You're a bad mom" thought which used to be so instant and so strong out of my head almost instantly- to instead feel the grace and peace of God in that moment.

I'm not defending the fact that I lost her. All I can say is that in the midst of that horrible mess, even one I felt to blame for, I felt hope and peace and God's strength.  In those things I felt confidence, and that confidence and peace of God just didn't leave any room in my heart for shame or judgement.  It wasn't until after I calmed down that I realized how far I've come on my journey of freedom.  Thank you, Jesus.  I could not survive motherhood without you.

Even though I was overcome emotionally, I didn't actually care what the people who saw the employee hand me my child thought about me.  I was just praying, praying, praying: Thank you God, thank you God, thank you God.  Is it possible that on the day of one of my biggest, scariest mistakes as a mother God showed up so strongly in love and grace that I will actually always remember this day for who HE is instead of who I am not?

Girls, we are all going to make mistakes.  Embrace the beauty that can come from the mess.

Do not get caught up in what the mess says about you, what others think of your mess, how horrible you are for being a mess...allow God to shine through the cracks of the broken, fearful, imperfect places.  Let him shine beauty and kindness and invaluable memories and lessons in unexpected places.  Accept that we will be weak and allow that to make space for Him to be strong.  Pray without ceasing, and let HIS VOICE be the only one you allow to speak to you- especially when it feels like your world is shaking.

Love you!

5 Ways to Invest in your Toddler's Spiritual Development

We love God with our complete selves: heart, mind, and soul...and we love our babies the same way!  It's never too early to begin investing in your child's spiritual development, here's 5 simple ways to help your very young child develop a solid understanding of their loving creator.  

#1 Invest in yourself.

Mamas, seriously.  I get it.  Some days if I have fed my kids 3 meals and give them a bath I am doing a victory dance down the hallway after putting them in bed.  In the chaos of raising toddlers, you get to choose what is non-negotiable (and it's a short list).  

Developing a deeper connection with God doesn't have to be a lofty or impossible goal.  The benefits of even a small investment of time and focus on your own spiritual journey could surprise you as you see it instill a sense of joy and peace in your day, soften your temper with your little loves, and change your heart toward your marriage.  It's the best investment you could make in your life let alone your family's lives. Your kids primary understanding of God and what following Him looks like may come from you, so don't be ashamed to take time to be the woman you want to be.

Spiritual fuel for busy moms: 

• Give God 30, 42, or 90 days to show you how walking with Him daily can transform your journey of motherhood. 
• Listen to Christian Music in the car to keep you sane and positive, and even spark moments of spontaneous worship or prayer.    
• Install a devotional app (or two...or an entire Bible) on your phone and when you have that rare free moment, take the chance to read something inspirational.  
• Think of some of the negative things that you were surrounded by in your home as a child (body image confusion, addiction, affairs, divorce, anger...) You have been given the amazing opportunity to introduce your kids to God in your own (still imperfect) environment.  Consider counseling or Breaking Free if there are bad habits or attitudes whose cycle you want to break.
• Watch John Ortberg's "A Jesus Way of Life" (while folding laundry, or whatever) and move your mindset from "big time commitment" to "intuitive relationship". 

#2 Make prayer normal.

We make a BIG effort in our house to have prayer be authentic and not ritualistic.  Prayer is part of an open ended conversation with God, knowing He is always close and always listening. For example, here's a sunset from our walk the other evening.  We responded to the beauty with a simple prayer: "Wow!  Look at that sunset!  God is such an amazing artist.  He put those colors together just so we could enjoy them and to remind us that He is here with us even on our walk.  Thank you God, for this beautiful sunset!" 

I try to make prayer super normal, and part of every day.  I pray aloud and let my kiddos hear how I talk to God- whether it's a thought of praise, a plea for a friend, or even when I have to apologize for losing my temper.  Modeling repentance and making sincere apologies to our children when warranted is priceless, it's the best possible way to demonstrate the value of a humble heart, what "sorry" looks like in the real world, and live authentically together.  

Just before bedtime, my daughter LOVES her "Prayer Sticks".  They are simple little prayer prompts.  On one side I write: Please, Thank You, or Wow (Stolen from Anne Lamott).  On the other side I write a little prompt.  For example "Thank You" on one side and on the flip side "...for one of my favorite things".  My daughter pulled that stick tonight.  My husband read it aloud and shared one of his favorite things and then modeled a one line thank you prayer.  She said her favorite thing was her toys, so she prayed "Thank you God for my toys". 

Some Prayer Stick Ideas: 

• Thank You: For a favorite thing, for my family, for a friend, for something I am excited about, for a food I like, for something that happened today, for someone that was kind to me, etc.
• Please: Help someone I care about, help me learn new things, give my friends sweet dreams, etc.
• Wow: God, you make beautiful things! God loves me so much! etc.

#3 Make truth a part of everyday.

Try to integrate truth and wisdom throughout the day, being careful not to isolate God to Bible reading time.  You might remind your child that God designed us to need rest at nap time or when noticing a squirrel eating on a walk you might remember that God is the one who makes sure that even the animals have enough food.

When you are reading Bible stories to your kiddos, connect the story or the verse to real life.  Use it as an opportunity to learn something about God or about yourself in every encounter, not just a fun fairy tale or point of knowledge.  There are two REALLY good children's Bibles that basically do all of the hard work around thinking that through for you: The Story for Little Ones is perfect for toddlers (My daughter enjoyed it even at 18 months old) and The Jesus Storybook Bible is beautifully written and illustrated for the 4+ crowd.

Of course my kid's favorite Bible that they BEG to "read" is an app for tablets and phones.  Really fun way to engage their imaginations and a great alternative to other computer games (keeping screen time in moderation, of course).

Kid's (and moms) also love music!  Worship music has a lot of truth and peace to offer.  Make a great Pandora station for the afternoons and take time to sing God's love as lullabies at night.  Your child may memorize a song like "Jesus Loves Me" long before they can memorize a Bible verse.  Even if you aren't the best singer, the words and melody can soothe their tiny souls.

More favorite books for introducing little ones to God and the Bible:

ABC Bible Verse Book
God Loves You!

Just in Case You Ever Wonder or You are Special by Max Lucado

If Jesus Lived Inside my Heart 

God Gave us You

#4 Community is SO important.

I knooooooow it's tough to get out of the house, someone is always too sick to go in to the nursery and family time on the weekends (or anytime) is SO precious.  Going to church is a big deal, though.  The Christian life is not meant to be lived in isolation.  If you don't make going to church a priority, it's less likely that your kids will be excited about the habit as they get older.  You need more people pouring spiritual truth, life, and perspective into your kids than just you.  And YOU need the re-charge too!  If your church is not a place that you can connect with God in worship, be encouraged, challenged, and serve as a family it may be worth your time to find a healthy community that is the right fit.  

Consider finding a local MOPs, BSF or other women's Bible Study with child care.  Especially if you are taking on the role of spiritual mentor in your home with little support, you need a loving "village" for yourself and your kiddos.  You'll get the chance to have a morning with adult conversation, spiritual enrichment, and hopefully make a few friends that are good for the soul.

#5 Don't overspiritualize or idealize "spirituality".

Give yourself a little credit, girl.  You are already laying a foundation for your child's future relationship with God. Are you teaching your toddler about waiting and patience?  Are you helping your child think through the effects of their actions and make good choices? Are you taking opportunities to show your child how to be kind to others?  Do you model "I'm sorry" and "I forgive you"?  Are integrity, priorities, and character important in your family?  These are all things that will benefit your child in their future life journey with God (and lessons we all need to revisit from time to time).

It's beautiful, and a gift of a calling to be able to invest in our sweet babies spiritual foundation.  Just remember, it's our job to love, teach, model, and nurture but it's God who will ultimately capture their hearts.  They have a choice, He has a plan, and we have less control than we wish we did.  Once we train our loves, we eventually have to let go and entrust their hearts to God.

I don't teach my two year old her ABCs as a way of putting pressure on her to attend an ivy league college, and in the same way I don't pray with my kids so that they will grow up to go to seminary.  I am simply building spiritual capability the same way I invest in their academic capability. I can honestly say I will FOREVER-ever-ever love my babies no matter what.  It's important to me that they know that my love for them is not contingent on their love for Jesus.  It's unconditional, baby.  Full of grace, forgiveness, love, and tons of prayer. 

Can I pray for you?  Just for a quick moment?

God, from heaven you are looking down on us mamas.  You entrusted these beautiful, eternal souls to our care.  We love them, we love you.  God speak to us your truth. Help us to walk confidently and bravely as we try tirelessly and imperfectly to show our kids how AWESOME you are.  Come into our messy houses.  Show US your awesomeness.  As our sweet babies grow older do not ever ever stop pursuing their hearts, we know your love is steadfast and powerful.  We want your love to overtake us and give us strength for this day, and to help us not to worry about tomorrow.  Teach us the security of surrender and the peace of trust.  Help us to be the mother, the wife, the woman you designed us to be so that we can have the joy of living in full freedom.  Amen.

LOVE YOU, MAMAS!  My prayers are with you.

BONUS: More Great Parent Resources to Check Out

Grace Based Parenting

Sticky Faith: Everyday ideas to build Lasting Faith in your Kids

Love and Logic for Preschoolers

Surviving a Spiritual Mismatch in Marriage

Unglued: Making Wise Choices in the Midst of Raw Emotions

Do you have other favorite resources, activities or tips?  Share them in the comments!